Chickadee and Me

It’s funny how differently I look at things these days. Right now, I’m sitting at the airport, waiting for my flight. It’s a flight I’ve taken countless times and there’s really not too much different about this trip than any of the others. Except for one thing. I keep picturing myself waiting for my flight to Chickadee’s birth country. I was walking across the catwalks from central parking and I was imagining how it would feel to be getting on the plane for the last time as a single, carefree, responsibility free person. How, when I returned to that very same spot things would be completely different. I’d have a family and someone I was responsible for loving and teaching and helping to grow. It’s so crazy to think about… it’s such a big thing and sooooo exciting!!

While I’m not quite ready to actually be bringing my child home, I do kind of wish I was at the point where I could start the paperwork process. I think it’s mostly because I want to really feel like I’m in control of all of this somehow, and right now I don’t. There are things I want to pay off before I start the process, and I know I’ll be happy that I did, but I wish I was already past that part. But I guess the timing of it all happens for a reason, and the day I’m standing in front of my daughter, that it will all just disappear… all the waiting, frustration, etc.